stopityoumonkey tagged me! Her post is here.

1. List 7 habits/quirks/facts
2. Tag 7 people to do the same
3. Don't tag the person who tagged you, or tag "Whoever wants to do it"

Hmmm. I tag elshastorm, interiortwo, purplecleo, seeayeyelle, zosiablue, _foxymoron and boilingbabies. Do it!

1. I think this is the year that I learn how to sew. For about two years now, I've been looking for dresses like this. Except there's always something wrong with them - it doesn't come in a large, or the material is too shiny, or the A-line isn't flared enough for my taste, or it's too expensive, etc. You'd think that finding a budget-friendly plain shift dress would be easier than this, but NO. It's driving me so batty that I'm giving up and learning to sew my own damn clothes. I just need to find someone to teach me.

2. I have been walking around with cracks in my glasses for a year now. Really, it's like a giant white fracture down the center of each lens, and I still haven't gone to get new ones. Also, the frames are ten years old and I've already lost one nosepad. I think my glasses have to actually fall into tiny, unwearable pieces before I'll get it together and go buy some new ones. And I can't even say it's a financial issue, because I have money - actual cash, in bills - hidden away for it and I'm pretty sure I'll get most of it back through my benefits anyway, so I am JUST BEING TOTALLY LAZY.

3. Sometimes, the cats are so freaking adorable when they're asleep that I have to walk over there and give them kisses on the nose. They wake up all blinky and somtimes irritated ("I was SLEEPING for chrissake..."), but I can't help it. God, what kind of mother would I make??

4. I don't really know how to study for an exam. I know how to take excellent notes and I know how to read. But I don't know how people study. Do you just read your notes over and over, or do you write your notes down again and again until you remember it? The reason I don't know this is because I didn't have to study until I was about 16, and since then I've just never cared enough about exams or tests to study for them. I was a really bad student.

5. I say the words "business" and "situation" a lot. I don't know where that comes from.

6. These are the most expensive sock garters on the planet, but I MUST HAVE THEM. The little gears! If we decide to do a steampunk wedding theme, these are totally the sock garters I will be wearing. You know, with my excellent socks and Fluevog shoes.

7. I really want a label maker, and they're not expensive to get, but it's the kind of thing that I never really think of picking up when I'm out shopping. I truly believe that if my life were just 3% more organized, I'd feel about 80% less stressed out all the time.

I present to you, Cop Rock.



No one that I've come across has ever believed me that this show existed. Once, they made a reference to it on Gilmore Girls, and it made my whole year. Cop Rock was a gritty police drama, created in 1990 by Steven Bochco of NYPD Blue, L.A. Law and Hill Street Blues fame. It was kind of like all those shows... but a musical. Seriously. They thought this was a good idea in 1990. Not even the 80s, man. I feel like a lot of things can be forgiven for the simple reason that IT WAS THE 80s AND NO ONE HAD ANY TASTE, but in 1990, there was just no excuse. This thing got cancelled after about five minutes. Shocking.

Anyway, facebookers, if you can't see the video, click here.

( Secret of the Day )

Sigh! I hate eybrows. I think everyone should just shave them off and be done with it.

Here's my basic problem - I don't mess with my eyebrows. I pluck them if they start to look unruly, but I never fill them in because they seem fine to me. I also don't like the look of filled-in brows. It's like blush - I can always SEE it on someone's face, so I don't want to look like I have blush on. Or filled-in eyebrows.

Tonight, we had a practical lesson. My partner, whom I like very much, takes really good care of her eyebrows and fills them in daily. The tweezing was fine, but when it came time to fill, I didn't know what to do, exactly. I mean, I've never done it before, and my partner does hers all the time, so immediately, we were in an awkward position. Essentially, since she knew more about what we were doing, I just asked her what kind of shape she wanted and then tried to get as close to that as I could. I wasn't really into the shape she had me draw on - too angled for my taste, but hey, they're her eyebrows, so I wanted to do them however she liked them. After some time, I could tell that I was screwing them up somehow, but since I NEVER DO EYEBROWS and it was my first time, I don't have a trained eye and I was unable to see exactly where the issue was.

I decided to call the instructor over for some help. Right away, my instructor pointed out that they were drawn on way too angled and I needed to soften them. Rather than get all excuse-y and tell her that I knew they looked too pointy but that I was trying to do what my partner asked me, I just rounded them out and made them as even as I could. I could tell that my partner felt bad about asking me to do them as she had, but it's a learning process, so I didn't really mind.

You know what I DO mind, though? I mind that the two most annoying chicks in the class had to come over WITH THE INSTRUCTOR and start critiquing right along with her. They just stood behind me with their arms folded across their chests and gleefully pointed out everything that was wrong AS THE INSTRUCTOR HERSELF WAS TRYING TO HELP ME FIX THINGS. Like, seriously? GO PLUCK EACH OTHER'S ASSHAIRS, BITCHES.

I mean, who does that? The instructor is already on it, I don't need anyone else's advice, thanks.

Then when it came time for my partner to do my brows, she basically had to pluck three hairs and barely fill them in (since I just let my brows grow in naturally and I don't mess with them too much, they look pretty good just as they are). The instructor comes over and is like, "I'd take off a little bit of colour over here to make them more symmetrical, but otherwise, great job!" So I got a poor mark - I think. I don't know, actually - and my partner got a great mark because she didn't have to do anything. SO NOT FAIR.

And have I mentioned that I don't even CARE about eyebrows?? My confidence is shaken! I'm not used to not being good at makeup things! I'm used to people liking my work! I'm used to not filling in eyebrows! I'm used to people who don't jump on in and start hating on my brows!

Bah.

Yay!

Now I can relax. I was SO TENSE about this Alice pallette, OMG. I am so obsessed with this thing that I started following Urban Decay's tweets, and last night, they were all, "Sephora.com pushed back the date of the launch because they received way, way, way more pre-orders than originally anticipated." Immediately, I thought, oh no! What if there are so many pre-orders that they don't bring them out in the stores? And then I get over there and THEY HAVE NONE! And I would have missed out on the LIMITED-EDITION ALICE IN WONDERLAND PALETTE, OH GOD?! Stephen, who understands these things, checked the Sephora web site this morning and woke me up at 8am to say that they were online, and that I should just get one now before my head explodes.

I love Stephen.

Anyway, so my palette's on the way and I can relax. I like ordering from Sephora.com because they have a deal with Canada Post that I don't have to pay duty. Yay!

It's less about the actual makeup and more about the palette. LOOK AT THAT THING. The mushrooms! The giant flowers! The little discarded "drink me" bottle! I know that the shadows themselves aren't new, they're just UD's 16 best sellers, but since I don't have many UD shadows, I thought this was a smart purchase.

ANYWAY. So, let me ask you guys something. Last night, my sister and I were talking about cereal, and since we were kids, her favourite has always been Lucky Charms. I've always been a Corn Pops girl myself. But you know, you can't always have the same ceral every single day because that would be boring, so other boxes that make an appearance for us are Frosted Flakes, Special K Red Berries, Fruit Loops, Count Chocula, Reese, basically all the sugary ones. What? They're mostly all whole-grain now and the nutritional info is pretty decent. I do try to alternate with Multi Grain Cheerios, but you'll never find me with like, Grape Nuts or anything - actually, I take that back. For a time, my sister and I ate Grape Nuts like it was going out of style, but we scooped about five teaspoons of sugar on top to build up a nice crust.

She told me this story about how she was sitting in her office at work the other morning, waiting for a woman with whom she'd made an appointment (she works at the school board), and decided to have some cereal at her desk. The woman happened to show up just as my sister was pouring the milk, and apparently, was COMPLETELY TICKLED that my sister was eating Lucky Charms. This happens to both of us a lot - we are randomly ridiculous sometimes, and people find this quirky and charming. So we got into a discussion about cereal and then accessories and things with skulls on them and so on, and we realized that most grown ups do not eat Lucky Charms for breakfast.

This blew my mind. Because the only other person whose cereal preferences I've noticed are Stephen's. Stephen, who is pretty much the most normal person I know, is mostly all about Shreddies, Weetabix and Cheerios. This is why there are Multigrain Cheerios in my house. But he's also into Fruit Loops, Sugar Crisp and most anything else that I like. So I just assumed that most other adults still keep it real with the Count Chocula and throw some Total in there now and then.

I AM WRONG! Most grownups lose their taste for sugar and just eat stuff like this.

Barf.

So, lay it on me. A poll!

Poll #1517307 Grown-Ups and Cereal
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 15

What cereal do you eat MOST of the time?

How old are you?

Why do you eat the cereal that you do?

* Facebookers: If you can't see the poll, then click here!*

1. I think that a lot many most professional makeup artists/estheticians are dumb. Why do you think that is? Are cosmetics just kind of a frivolous thing, and draw essentially frivolous people? The girls in my classes don't seem to have any layers. Most of the YouTubers I watch are pretty stupid, too (from JulieG, during the Golden Globes - "What's with the pink and white ribbons that everyone's wearing? Anyone know?" Um, HAITI?? Before asking a question like that, wouldn't you think back to what tragic things have happened recently?). It's totally depressing, man.

2. I refuse to get a Twitter account, but I enjoy following Weird Al, Kevin Smith and Cracked. My sense of humour is that of a 14-year-old boy's.

3. Speaking of Kevin Smith, I do not want to see Cop Out. It looks like a sillier, not-as-funny version of 48 Hours.

4. I hate toilet paper that's not the jumbo double-roll. I live with a boy! Boys are constantly stinking up the bathroom with their atomic poops and then using up all the paper in one go, and single rolls do not suffice. I have to change the motherfucker like every other damn day.

5. Man, being of East Indian descent sucks sometimes. We are SO HAIRY. I'm sitting here waxing my whole face because of my incredble man-sideburns. This is why I don't like makeup artists to work on me, personally - they'll see my face up close and start thinking I'm actually a dude.

6. I need to bring a model with me for my final exam in eyebrows. Does anyone want to get their eyebrows waxed on February 10th? You would need to meet me at Bay station for around 5:30pm that night. Let me know!

I really want these and these. Because you know I'd wear one on each foot and rock the school vibe for my next class.

Guess what? I'm sick AGAIN! For the second time this month. I feel like a total failure. And I've been really good the last few weeks with my fruit/veggie/vitamin intake, so I totally don't get it. Maybe my body hasn't built up its proper immunity since the holidays (when I stopped caring about antioxidants) and I caught a virus. I'm downing the Oil of Oregano like nobody's business.

To be honest, I feel fine except for this nasty sore throat. I was all achy and phlegmmy over the weekend, but by last night, I was fine, other than my throat felt like someone had gone at it with a Garden Claw. This morning, I'm up so early because my throat was bugging me so much that I couldn't sleep. My google-fu tells me that what I have is either strep throat that's starting to go away, or just a really bad sore throat with a cold. Stephen tried to force Neo Citran on me, but since I'd rather die of my throat exploding than drink that shit, I declined.

I registered for Eyebrow Shaping online, and my first class is TODAY. I have to buy my brow kit before we start, so I'll pick that up on my way in. Do you know how not-interested I am in eyebrows? Eyebrows aren't fun. LET'S GET TO THE PROSTHETICS AND THE CRAZY ZOMBIE MAKEUP NOW.



So, some girl on YouTube, whose channel I follow, does beauty product reviews and whatnot. Her last review was on MAC's All Ages, All Races, All Sexes collection, and she was SO. DUMB. About it. She started going on about how MAC is becoming more diverse, like it's some new thing (MAC's mission statement, since the Franks started up the company, has always been All Races, All Sexes, All Ages, and they're one of the few cosmetic companies who understand the colour wheel and create warm, cool and neutral foundations for ALL skin tones. Most other companies, high-end or otherwise, have like, four shades - white, pink, peach and tan). Essentially, this collection is a bunch of stuff that works for everyone in some way or another, which is cool. Not that anyone can't rock any shade of anything, but it's nice to see a collection that brings that into focus. Anyway, just as the chick finishes gushing over how great such a "new idea" the collection is, she started complaining that it was basically all neutrals, which sucked for her because they brought it out almost immediately after the Warm and Cozy collection.

Warm and Cozy, to be fair, was all neutrals. The difference between the two is that Warm and Cozy was lip-focused and All Ages is brow-focused. Warm and Cozy is more appealing to the general public - neutral eye shades, neutral lips - and All Ages is more appealing to makeup artists who need a wider range of brow pencils and face finishing powder for their kits. MAC doesn't just cater to people who like makeup, they're an industry brand. They need to bring out collections that appeal to everyone, but they also need to keep a focus on professional makeup artists. Sometimes, that means bringing out two collections that seem similar, but have different target consumers.

Then she was annoyed because she thought that the lightest powder in the collection was too dark for her fair skin. That must suck. Perhaps this isn't the collection for you. Maybe you can try one of the other MILLIONS OF COLLECTIONS THAT ARE JUST MADE FOR WHITE PEOPLE.

( Secret of the Day )

Who wrote her Colour Theory exam last night?

That's right. I did.

It went really well! If I didn't get 100%, I'd be totally shocked, considering that it was open-book. Dudes, let me tell you - MAKEUP CLASSES ARE WHERE IT'S AT. You feel like you're a genius because you know that red, blue and yellow are primary colours. We learned other stuff, like how the eye sees colour, and we talked about art history and Sir Isaac Newton, but it was so basic that I was even kind of bored at times. Next week, I start eyebrow shaping.

Also! I went to Sephora to buy black liquid eyeliner (I forgot to bring my makeup with me yesterday morning and wound up spending the first part of my day with a NAKED FACE, OMG. I looked every bit of my wizened 31 years), and found that the Kat Von D eyeshadows and lipglosses were on sale for $6. Score! I find that when I look at makeup now, I think about what could go in my kit and not necessarily what I'd use myself. As a result, I now feel like I need to buy EVERYTHING, EVER.

( Secret of the Day )

Re: The Ting Tings on SNL

Whoa. They're so much better live.

CP24 says that Canadians have raised 48 MILLION dollars for Haiti in the last 24 hours! That's amazing! This makes me extremely warm and fuzzy.

That is all.

Um, anyway.

"It never ceases to amaze, that in times of amazing human suffering, somebody says something that could be so utterly stupid," Gibbs said. "But it, like clockwork, happens with some regularity."

You know how everyone thinks that PETA supporters are all insane because a couple of people go batshit once in awhile, and say or do something totally stupid? Christians also get a bad rap, man.

Also, how about this?

According to the website, “she can have an orgasm when you touch her”. WHAT? NO WAY! You could never do that in real life. Frigid bitches.

A-HAHAHAHAHAHA! HA!

SUBSCRIBE. Best videos ever.

My heart is breaking over the Haiti earthquake. We're talking TOTAL devastation. Aftershocks could continue for weeks, possibly months. Haiti is the poorest nation in the Western Hemisphere, and these people are left with basically nothing. If you want to donate (any amount, even $5 will help), here's the link to the Yele Haiti fund. Please share this with everyone you know!

I am totally going to make these tomorrow. Except, with Earth Balance instead of butter. But my plan is to make them and have them all ready and still warm when Stephen comes home so he's like, "Hey, cookies!" Nothing is better than "Hey, cookies!" when you get home from work.

I won't be home because I'll be IN CLASS (OMG!), but he will appreciate them nonetheless.

( Things about school... )

In other news, there are new videos up on my channel, so you should watch them.

You could buy a Snuggie. Or you could buy a Leonardo Snuggie. They also have Donatello.

Man, not even the guy wearing it in the picture is having a good time. Regardless, I still want one.

=

Also, you should play with this.

=

( Secret of the Day )

5:05pm - Arrive at Bay station. Check directions one more time, and then exit onto Bay street.

5:07pm - Ooh, Starbucks! Am physically not capable of walking past a Starbucks, so I finish what's in my travel mug as I'm standing in line, and then have them fill 'er up.

5:15pm - Am ready and fueled for first class. Walk along Yorkville Ave, looking for #70.

5:17pm - 79? Must have missed something. Walk in opposite direction.

5:19pm - 61. Is this a joke?

5:21pm - Class starts in less than an hour, and I am wandering up and down the street still looking for the goddamn building. Am convinced that the school has giant invisibility cloak over it and everyone inside is staring at me walking back and forth, giggling into their hands.

5:25pm - Suddenly occurs to me that if I'm getting odd numbers, then the even numbers must be....

5:26pm - Right. On other side of street. Find building, enter surreptitiously.

5:28pm - Call Stephen while in hallway. Hyperventilate. Decide to pretend that am attending LUSH Manager's Meeting, but at least this time, no one's going to make me get up and perform a cheer.

5:30pm - Enter main reception. Notice another girl sitting in the chairs, looking terrified. Pretend that I belong there and sit down next to her.

5:35pm - Dude walks in and asks us why we're there. Let terrified girl do all the talking, and then three of us walk to the room for our class.

5:40pm - Dude tells us to sit anywhere. Girl and I stare at each other when he leaves, and then sit on salon-style chairs near desks.

5:41pm - Notice that girl is unpacking what looks to be new school supplies and new notebook. Feel better.

5:42pm to 5:50pm - Both sit, staring at fingernails. Try to think of something to say, fail miserably. Check our phones. Rifle through our bags.

5:51pm - Girl looks up and says, "I hate first days of school." I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE. Introduce ourselves and laugh at the awkwardness.

5:55pm to 6:15pm - Other people enter. Instructor shows up, gives us textbooks and colour wheels. Am secretly thrilled, and open everything all at once. Notice that everyone else is playing it cool. Feel ridiculous.

6:20pm - Class stars, more or less. Two girls enter late and get reproachful looks from Other Awkward Girl and I.

6:22pm - Ha! Other Awkward Girl is forced to lend Unprepared Girl one of her pens! So glad am beside Awkward Girl and not Unprepared Girl.

6:30pm to 7:15pm - Learning ensues. Notes to take, highlighting to do. Feel more relaxed.

7:16pm - Uh-oh. Wonder if this is the kind of set up where I can just leave to go pee, or if I have to put up my hand and ask.

7:20pm - Maybe there's a break coming up. Decide to hold it.

7:25pm - Begin shifting in seat.

7:32pm - Try to think dry thoughts. Sahara Desert. Egypt. Death Valley.

7:40pm - Monsoon. Niagara Falls. Hoover Dam.

7:45pm - Give up. Am going to get up and casually walk out. If instructor asks, will just have to tell entire room that two Venti coffees have consequences that may not be in timetable.

7:55pm - Success! Everyone stared when I got up, but no one asked me where I was going. Back in class, ready to continue.

8:00pm - "Okay, we'll now take a short break." CRAP.

8:01pm to 8:15pm - Everyone leaves room. Sit in my seat. Text-message Stephen. Eat crackers. Teenage girl enters, sits down across from me and begins eating Starbucks cheese/cracker plate. Discuss different types of crackers.

8:16pm to 10:00pm - Class. More learning. Sir Isaac Newton and colour theory. Secondary and tertiary colours. Eyeballs. Rods and cones. Learn that exam will be open-book. Feel digruntled that wasted so much of my academic life in lit classes, staring at pages and pages of old english prose when could have been having open-book exams and painting other people's faces all this time.

10:30pm - In Stephen's car, talking about Other Awkward Girl, Unprepared Girl, Annoying Salon-Working Girl with Many Anecdotes and how everyone is ten years younger than I am.

10:45pm - Home! Cats play with colour wheel. Attempt to determine Joon's undertones, but since we won't learn that until next week, it's difficult. Also, Joon is a cat.

Here is what I will have in my bag on my first day:

* my new notebook, which has my student confirmation sheet tucked into the front pocket
* my pencil case, which has all of my new school supplies inside
* my agenda, which has step-by-step directions to the campus written inside
* my I.D, hair elastics, tissues and hand cream in the zip pocket
* a ziploc bag of wheat thins, in case I get snackish
* my makeup case which also contains headache medication
* my camera, because what if I want to take pictures of my anxiety?
* a book (I haven't decided which yet)

Here is what I will be wearing on my first day:

* a necklace that my sister bought me
* a ring that Francie made for me (in addition to my ring from Stephen, obviously)
* my favourite jumper
* my favourite turtleneck
* my favourite two colours of striped socks
* my favourite boots
* my favourite scarf
* my favourite perfume

I will also have a large travel mug of Double-Bergamot earl grey tea to curb any anxiety attacks that might be waiting in the wings.

So, my first class in more than ten years starts tomorrow. Here are the things I am excited about:

1. I love being in class. I love taking notes. And college is even better than high school, because you can keep your coffee with you for the whole time.
2. I am going to learn about colour theory. It's easy!
3. My sister bought me school supplies for Christmas. I have notebooks and folders and lots of pens and two different kinds of sticky notes (she got me regular ones and star shaped ones. Obviously, the regular ones are for when people want to borrow them. The star shaped ones are just for me) and highlighters and a mini stapler and mechanical pencils and those rubber things that you put on the end and a sharpener and everything I need.
4. It's at night. I don't have to wake up early to go to class!

Here are the things I am freaking out about:

1. Where do I sit? I always sit at the back, but then what if there aren't a lot of people in the class and the instructor yells at me to move down to the front and then everyone's staring at me? But then what if I sit too close to the front and the instructor is staring at me the whole time?
2. It's one class. Do I bring a backpack? My backpack has multi-coloured stars all over it, everyone is going to think I'm a huge dork. What if I don't bring a backpack and then I get a textbook and I can't fit it into my handbag?
3. Wait. How do I know if I need a textbook? It didn't say anything about that in the course info. HOW DO I KNOW IF I NEED TO BUY A TEXTBOOK?
4. Where do I go? I remember that they used to change the room of classes all the time when I was in school, what if they do that and I go into the wrong one and then I'm in the middle of "Okay, class, everyone get out your slide rules."?
5. I am old. Everyone else will be like, 19! They will be talking about 19-year-old things!
6. What if people try to talk to me and I get all nervous and awkward and then I'm The Awkward Girl for the whole course?
7. What if there's group work at some point and everyone moves into groups of 4 and no one wants to be in my group and then I'm all by myself?
8. What if no one else has school supplies and they all want to borrow my good pens?
9. What if I'm still sick and I'm sniffling and coughing and sneezing for the whole thing, and everyone thinks I'm all H1N1 and no one wants to be my friend?

I hate school. Why am I doing this? This is so dumb.

Hi. I am sick. I slept for fourteen hours, woke up and had some applesauce, then slept for another five hours while I uploaded a video to My YouTube channel. Then we watched I Love You, Man and Stephen made me some pancakes.

Guys, this is no fun. My throat is KILLING me. You know when you don't manage to get to the Cold FX in time? That happened to me. Then my mom showed up to bring me Oil of Oregano. I can't find the NyQuil, man. How long do things like this last? I don't want to feel like this on Wednesday when I have my first class.

GLOOM!

To make me feel better, here are some pictures of holiday cheer!



( Yep. )

It's 2010!

I can't believe it's been ten years since everyone was freaking out about Y2K. Do you remember that? People were buying batteries and extra food like it was fucking armageddon. AND THEN NOTHING HAPPENED. Tards.

Wishes for 2010

1. I wish I was a little bit taller.
2. I wish I was a baller.
3. I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her.

Serious wishes tomorrow. It is late and I am tired.