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"Don't be such a hoo-hoo."

Sigh! I had to go get some x-ray type pictures of my jawbone done in prep for my new tooth today, and it was all loud, scary machines and rotating lasers. Anytime I have to go do something medical or dental, I freak out because I don't know what's happening and they rarely tell me what to expect. And I usually don't know where I'm going.

So I get there and I sign in, and the receptionist just stressed me right out (FYI, all receptionists hate me on sight. It's a thing. Something about the disorganized, flaily bald girl creases their shit and they speak to me in these clipped, sharp tones that suggest that they think I'm 13 years old). She and and I had this conversation:

Me: Hi! I have an appointment for 3 o'clock?

Receptionist: (hands me a clipboard and then, NO JOKE gestures to my face) Fill this out and can you do something about.... that?

Me: Uh... my face? I was sort of born like this. I usually wear more concealer, but I woke up late and-

Receptionist: (clearly in no mood for my hijinks) You have to take all the metal out of your face from the neck up. Also necklaces, earrings, hair pins, etc.

Me: Oh! Um, well no one told me that. That would have been good to know in advance. Do you guys have... pliers or something that I can borrow for a minute?

Receptionist: Never mind, I'll tell them you can't take them out. Okay, that'll be $320 for today.

Me: Jesus! For 3 pictures?

Receptionist: ..................

Me: I just didn't know that it would be... I mean, I wasn't expecting... again, something that would have been good to know in advance.

Receptionist: It's a CT scan.

Me: OH! Now you've cleared everything up. I understand. I thought I was here for a library card.

Receptionist: (crickets)

SERIOUSLY. This was some of my best material and you could have cut the tension in there with a knife. THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY DAMN DOLLARS FOR THREE PHOTOGRAPHS? I mean, I realize that CT scans probably don't come cheap, but you'd think they'd let you know these things before you get there, you know what I'm saying?

Anyway, once I got out of there, I called Stephen because I was so flaily and then I had to stop and get a coffee to calm myself down. And you know what happened? Some woman cut in front of me in the coffee line!

I KNOW! I'm standing here patiently waiting for some soothing Hazelnut Americano action and THIS IS HOW YOU DO ME??

It was one of those things where there wasn't a clear line, and at first I was standing in the wrong place, so I joined the back of the line that was starting to form on the other side, and this woman came out of nowhere and slithered in front of me LIKE A DAMN SNAKE IN THE GRASS and started giving her order to the barista. Instead of doing the mature, adult thing where you're all, "Oh! I think I was next actually,", I said, "OH NO, YOU GO RIGHT AHEAD, IT'S NOT LIKE I WAS NEXT IN LINE OR ANYTHING." and I stomped over to the Druxy's and bought a weak-ass cup of something that tasted like someone had once drank a coffee and spat it back into my mouth.

So not proud of myself. She probably didn't even see me standing there and I went and ruined her whole break just because I was feeling snarky. Sometimes Street Jaime flares up before I have a chance to contain her.

But! Then I stopped by the tiny Korean lady who sells many delicious buns and I bought a sesame red bean bun. AND LIFE WAS BETTER.

Secret of the Day: I still can't believe that receptionist. I wanted to kick her. Who does not laugh at my comedy gold?


Oct. 17th, 2011 11:32 pm (UTC)
In 2008 I had to have two CT scans at an emergency room when I had kidney stones. I had insurance at the time, but it didn't cover it because I went to an emergency room that my insurance did not cover. It didn't matter that I went to the ER closest to my apartment because I thought I might have a rupturing appendix and didn't have time to find out which emergency room was covered.

For two CT scans they charged me almost $4000 dollars. Health care in the US is in serious trouble.